Saturday, 1 October 2011

Happy Birthday, Liam.

My first baby turns six tomorrow.


It can't be six years, surely?!

Six years ago tomorrow, my life changed in an instant.  A perfect baby boy was placed in my weary, shaking arms and I was lost forever.  His actual birth wasn't that flash so I'm not going to dwell on that, I am just going to share some precious memories with you.

When he was a week old, Bathurst was on.  The future ex husband had gone to a friends place to watch the race so I packed Liam and I up and we went around to see my parents.  My Aunty, Cousin and Granny were summonsed and we spent the day playing with our new toy!  We lay him on the table, on a bunny rug and some towels, and just marvelled in his amazingness.  Every little move and noise he made was commented on.  There was no other baby in the world who was so advanced, beautiful or perfect. 

The laying him on the table thing continued until he could roll over.  We would sit there for hours just looking at him and trying to get him to smile and talk to us.  We would grab the towels and turn him around so he would face us, all taking turns.  They were happy days.

My heart still swells when I remember his first real smile.  He had  been smiling for a couple of weeks but only the slightly amused smile, not the "oh you ARE funny" smile.  I didn't know it existed until around three one morning when I was trying to get him back to sleep after a bottle.  I must of lay him down in his bassinet and let out a big sigh when I looked down and he stared up at me with those beautiful, blue eyes and gave me a heart breaking smile.  How could I resist? That smile got me through some yucky times, and it still does.

He was a beautiful toddler, always on the go and getting into various mischief.  He had the chubbiest arms and legs and before his first hair cut, the most beautiful curly, blonde hair.  We lived in Longreach for a short time when he was a toddler and he spent most of his time naked in the air con or in the shower.  We used to venture outsides in the afternoon and I would hose the dog and him off.  The dog didn't like it that much but Liam loved it!  He was also rather fond of standing in the dogs water, which she would happily drink out of with him still in it! 

When he became a big brother for the first time, I was worried how he would take it, not being the only baby in my life.  The day he met Joseph, he walked into the hospital room and straight up to the bassinet and stared into it, taking it all in.  He had his moments of jealousy obviously, but he is a great big brother to Joseph and they are the best of friends now.

When Clancy came along, he was obsessed! I didn't even get a hello the day he met her for the first time, he strolled in and said "Where's Clancy?" and headed straight for her bassinet!  He has taken the role of looking after his little sister very seriously and loves her to the moon and back!

Liam started Prep at the beginning of this year.  We were very nervous on his first day, even though I only left him for just over an hour.  I worried that he would be scared because he can be very shy but when I arrived to collect him, he was sitting down with all of his school mates having fruit and a good old chat.  On the way home, he said to me "Mummy.... did you know that God is EVERYWHERE?!"  Good old Catholic schools, they don't mess around!

Having Liam changed my life forever.   Since he came into my life, I have never felt such love, joy, happiness, pride, fear, anger, distress and... oh so many other things.  There have been tough times of being a Mummy but the good times far out way the bad. 

He is the most perfect first born child I could ask for.  His gappy grin, twinkling, grey eyes and mischievous ways light up my days.

Happy Birthday to my big boy, Liam Grant.  I am so proud to be your Mummy and thank God every day that you chose me to be with you on this journey of life.

You are beautiful and I love you so very much.

All of my love, hugs and kisses,

Mummy xxxx

Saturday, 10 September 2011

Happy Birthday, Clancy.

My baby girl turned two on Wednesday.

My last baby.

I cried.

She giggled.


I found out I was pregnant with Clancy three days after the future ex husband and I separated.  Not great timing.  It was perfect timing.

I loved being pregnant, it centred me.  I had to be strong, not only for my little boys, but for the baby that was growing in my belly.  Whenever things got too much for me, I'd put my hand on my swollen tummy and feel her move.  I knew then that everything was going to be OK.

The moment my baby girl was born, I felt at peace and stronger, so much stronger then I had been in the years prior.  This tiny little baby, who depended on me for everything, gave me so much.  When she was 5 weeks old, I reached a turning point in my rocky relationship with the future ex husband where I realised that there was no going back, and only going forward.  From that moment on, I was living my life for my three babies and myself.  It felt right, and has ever since.

Clancy is a pure delight.  Well, she has her terrible toddler moments, of course but honestly, she is just beautiful to be around.  She has got her big brothers wrapped around her little finger.  Her every wish, is there command.  Her personality is a wonderful mixture of sweetness, bossiness, innocence and evil.  She loves pretty things like necklaces and shoes.  She also loves mud and cars.  She loves to dance, while looking at her reflection in the television and she adores chasing her brothers around the house like a lunatic.

I know this sounds corny, but I believe that Clancy was sent to me at the stage of my life where I needed her most. 

I feel the same way about her big brothers.  They are all here for a reason.  To drive me mad..... Nah, they are pretty awesome and I love them to bits.

I'm a very lucky Mummy to have my three babies and to witness their little individual personalities shine through every day.  It really is the most rewarding, heartbreaking, loving job in the world.

Happy Birthday to my Clancy Therese.  I love you so much my sweet little girl.  Thank you for coming into my life and letting me love you.


Wednesday, 31 August 2011

What do you think?

The old lady across the road died on Friday.

She kept to herself so I didn't know her name.  I would wave to her if we were outside at the same time, but that was it.

There would often be someone there picking her up to take her to the Doctor or to the shops, but other then that, she didn't have many visitors.

Once her body was taken away in the early afternoon, cars started arriving.  With trailers.  And boxes.  It is now Wednesday and cars are still coming and going, taking along her belongings.  People that I have never seen before. 

I don't know.... it just seems in bad taste.  I know when my Nanna died, we sorted through her house the day after her funeral because we lived interstate so it had to be done then and there.  That seemed too soon but, it had to be done.

But, the same day?! 

It seems disrespectful. 

Apart from me being the Mrs Mengel of my street, what is your view on it?  Do you think it's a bit strange?

Monday, 29 August 2011

Judgement Day.

I am sick at the moment.  Yes, all feel sorry for me, do.  I am one of "those" sick people who expects people to feel sorry for her at all times.  Anyway, when I'm sick, I tend to lie in bed thinking about various things and trying to fix the World and all of its problems.  Don't you?  So, my blog today is about *dun dun dun* Mother's judging other Mother's.

I joined my first parenting forum when I was heavily pregnant with Liam, my first.  It didn't take long before I started observing how judgemental parents can be of other parents.  I was shocked!  Almost six years later, I'm still shocked at how nasty and downright rude people can be!  Oh and let's not forget higher then thou.  Holy crap!

Don't breastfeed?  Let me call DOCS.
Gave birth via caesarean?  You call yourself a Mother?!
Use disposable nappies?  Don't you realise what you are doing to your baby?
Give your kids Nutri Grain for breakfast?  Well, say goodbye to their teeth.
You let your kids have lollies?  Mine only ever have fresh fruit.
You smack your kids on the bum when they run onto the road in front of a car?  Don't you realise what harm you are causing them, they will now grow up to be hardened criminals.

And.... IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!!! *insert shifty eyes here*

Honestly... do you think this kind of judging was around when our parents were raising us?  I'm sure that there was some sort of judging going on but not like what is around today.

I don't know why it is worse today, if only I had that answer! I do think that the internet plays a part though and all of those wonderful "studies" that they put out there.  There was one I saw recently that if you put your child in a pram that wasn't facing you, you were causing irrevocable damage to your baby for some reason or other. 

Where do these people get off??!!! Seriously!!

Oh, I admit, I have judged before.  I have judged when I have seen a baby that would of been under 12 months drinking Coke out of a bottle and I have judged when I have seen a woman slap her child on the back of the head for asking for a lolly.  I think it is in our human nature to judge others, and there are times when people deserve to be judged, like the two instances above.  Of course I've judged when people haven't deserved to be judged as well.  I like to think that I don't do that as much now though, thanks to myself being judged and seeing other women on parenting forums be judged and ridiculed for their parenting.
It isn't surprising that post natal depression is more common these days.  Parenting forums are wonderful, I have made some awesome friends and have learnt so much from them, but they can also be quite evil.  Once you are ganged up on, it can be traumatising, 

I don't know what the point of this blog is today.  It has been playing on my mind for... oh... six years now.  Marti from Brass In My Pocket did an awesome blog about this a little while ago.  She says things so much better then me, so go read hers.

Anyway, now I am going to go and lie my poor pneumonia riddled body down and think about what other things are pissing me off on this fine Monday morning.

Have a great day and remember NO judging!

Monday, 22 August 2011

Happy Birthday, Joseph Patrick.

My baby boy turned four today.  Four whole years of awesome Joe moments have passed in a blink of an eye.

It doesn't seem that long ago that I was feeling a bit off and wondering if I could possibly be pregnant.  Turns out, I was!  After a very long nine months, my second child and son was placed in my arms and I instantly fell in love.  He had the most amazing hair I have ever seen.  It was jet black and had white tips, my little trendsetter, fresh out of the womb!  Oh and his eyes... I could of, and still can, stare into them for hours on end.  The bluest of blue and full of such meaning!

My JoJoe is a funny little man.  He is a thinker, you can almost see his brain working in his precious little head.  He has an answer for everything, usually a witty one at that.  Quite often he cracks himself up with some funny story that he is telling me, which makes me giggle even more. 

My family like to call him the "persecuted" one.  He can be very much a middle child at times, often stating in a small amount of words how unloved he is.  The world can be a very unfair place for the Joseph Patrick's of this world.  You would not believe the sorrow he has to endure!! (Not really, he is very loved).

Joe is my cuddly boy, he absolutely adores his cuddles.  He sits on my lap with his "gin gin" (a pink blanket) and caresses his nose and ear with one end while holding the other end in his other hand, with one finger stuck in his mouth.  He can sit there for hours, in his own little world, enjoying his quiet time. 

The temper that my boy has has to be seen to be believed.  He can go from being relatively happy with his lot in life to throwing a screaming, stamping, terrifying tantrum that can last for hours.  No tears fall from those blue eyes though and if he gets his own way, he is instantly back to his happy self.  I dread to see what he will be like when he is a teenager with the mood swings.... think I might leave home by then!

Liam and Joseph have a wonderful relationship, they are the best of mates.  Oh they fight, they fight a lot, but at the end of the day, they are brothers through and through.  If one of them is in trouble, the other one sticks up for him.

Clancy and Joe took a while to warm to each other but they are thick as thieves now, although I don't think he'd admit that if you asked!  "Yo Yo" can do no wrong in his little Sister's eyes, she loves him to bits.

It is hard to believe that my little boy is now a four year old.  I never really understood when friends and family said "it goes so fast" when talking about children growing up, but it really does.  I wish I could turn back the clock and make it all go in slow motion so I could savour every moment of my babies being babies.

Happy Birthday my JoJoe.  I love you so much, you bring me complete and utter happiness every day.


Saturday, 20 August 2011

Happy Anniversary Mr & Mrs Thomson.

Tomorrow is the first Wedding Anniversary of my cousin Troy, and his bride, Sara.

You know those weddings that you go to and everything is perfect? Everyone is happy, there isn't a hiccup and the food is delicious?  This was one of those.  I can honestly say it was one of the happiest, most beautiful weddings I have ever been to.

Troy and Sara had a whirlwind romance and are truly each others perfect match.  They met in the February, were engaged in the June, and tied the knot in August!

Words can't express how happy I am that they found each other.

Happy Anniversary Mr & Mrs Thomson, you give me hope that there is indeed true love out there.  Here is to many more happy years.


Bit of this, bit of that.

My babies all slept in past 8am this morning! This is unheard of in my little family so I was very impressed.  I lay in my bed for a while savouring the peace and quiet and thinking about random things.  I got to thinking about scars somehow, don't ask me how, because I don't know.

How many scars do you have?  I only have a few.

I have one on my left wrist where my darling brother burnt me with a cigarette.  It is a perfect circle.  Whenever I see it, I am immediately transported to the day it happened.  It was a great day, apart from the cigarette burn of course.

I also have one on my right wrist from Grade 7 camp.  Me being me, tripped over a log and fell flat on my face.  I also used to have a scar on my right leg from the same incident but it has disappeared.  Again, whenever I spot the scar, I am transported back to that day.

My favourite scar of all time is my caesarean scar.  It has been opened three times to bring my babies into the world and to introduce me to the awe of Motherhood.  The scar has caused me a few  problems here and there but I forgive it every time for what it represents.  Whenever it tingles, I instantly hear the noises and see the theatre of the days that my babies arrived here on Earth.  Amazing. 

I also have a few emotional scars on my poor old heart.  Most have faded and I can only see them if I am lying in bed at night, feeling alone.  It won't be long though until they have disappeared for good.  I have scars on my heart for family members who are lost to me forever and scars for my beautiful friends who have suffered unimaginable loss.  They will always be there.

Moving on.

Joe is having his 4th Birthday party tomorrow.  I am sick of course, and he is a bit under the weather as well.  Doesn't matter though because we are going to have F.U.N!! I am known for my over catering for the kids parties, and have quite a reputation for the amount of lollies I buy.  I am happy to say that I have not disappointed again this year.  I'm sure tomorrow night, I will be cursing the lollies and the effect they have on my children, and I will be getting cursed by the other parents at the party as well no doubt.  *giggles*  I have so much to do today but all I want to do is curl up and sleep.  The 473ml of Red Bull that I have just now consumed hasn't kicked in yet and I am wondering if it will.  Let's hope so!  Aunty Mo is making Joe a race track cake, I can't wait to see it!!

Only two more sleeps until my baby boy is 4, it is hard to believe!

Clancy has been my latest talker but she is sure making up for it now!! I love the way she says "Mummy", it is sort of like "Mmmmuuuuummmmaaaaaaayyyy" hehehe.  Cute!  She is starting to use a few small sentences now, usually telling off one of her slaves.  I can't believe she is almost two, it only seems like yesterday that I was standing in the Doctor's Surgery in shock staring at the positive pregnancy test.

Liam "loved" his very first disco! He spent about 3 minutes on the dance floor, clinging to me and one of his Teacher's the whole time but he loved the canteen!  I think his money was burning a whole in his new wallet, the amount of times he went up there and came back remarking that "they gave me back more money"!! 

OK, I've rambled on enough now, sorry about that!

Wednesday, 17 August 2011

Dance the night away.

Liam is attending his very first disco on Friday.  I can't believe that my first baby is old enough to go to one! Granted, it runs from 5.30pm - 7pm but still! My bbbaaabbbyyy!! At the grand old age of "almost six", I am letting him go out at night alone!!

This seems like a special occasion to me so today I went shopping, as you do.  Liam is now the proud owner of his very first velcro wallet, a snazzy pair of black gym shoes and a new Ben 10 shirt.  Can I just say, I am extremely popular right now, especially because of the shoes... that's my boy!

I have asked him if he is going to dance and he informed me that he will just be eating lollies and chips and drinking soft drink.  Poppy has been told a different story however.  He is apparently going to dance with A GIRL!!! *sob sob*  He has a bit of a soft spot for a certain little girl in his class so I am wondering if it is her.  I asked, and he giggled... and I melted.  Aw, why do our babies have to grow up so fast?!
I will keep you all posted on how I, I mean he, goes.